


When I Meet You After Time Passes

by dia_dove



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Heartbreak, M/M, WILL ADD MORE TAGS AS I UPDATE
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 23:55:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16607870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dia_dove/pseuds/dia_dove
Summary: Winter had always been long in Hasetsu. Long days followed by long nights of cold that seemed to take up more than a quarter of the year. Snow would fall heavy for days, and remain there for weeks. Yuuri had never noticed just how cold it was until now...Yuuri Katsuki and Viktor Nikiforov break off their engagement. Two worlds crumble leaving little hope for rebuilding a future.





	When I Meet You After Time Passes

**Author's Note:**

> Since SIL is now being beta'd I thought i would fill the gap with some things I've written but haven't shared on here before. So please enjoy~
> 
> There is no beta for this since technically it's a WIP

“You deserve better.”

The words had fallen from his lips between choked sobs and shaky breaths. Between fingers that trembled so violently his whole body shook.

Three words, wet with tears, that changed everything. Yuuri had cried them out so harshly, yet his lips were curved into a smile. There was no happiness in that smile. It was all obscured by biting heartache.

Yuuri looked up, watched Viktor freeze up before him. The Russian’s body almost slumps against the doorframe. He had tears in his eyes too. Because of him. Because Yuuri was foolish and childish and stupid.

Yuuri had made Viktor Nikiforov cry.

“You deserve better than this.” Yuuri had repeated. Viktor had rushed to him, tried to pull him into his arms but Yuuri refused. If Viktor held him he would give in. He would become selfish all over again and want to keep Viktor at his side for all eternity. No. He couldn’t.

He pushed, shoved, wailed. He kept himself at arms length, refusing to be touched. No matter how much Viktor had cried and begged and pleaded, Yuuri refused to waver.

He couldn’t live like this any longer. He couldn’t keep taking everything away from the person he loved.

He had to give up.

“You deserve better than this.” He said for the last time. He managed to push his way past Viktor, grabbed his suitcase in the living room. Viktor chased him, almost fell to his knees trying to hold onto him. Yuuri never turned around. “You deserve better than me.”

He ran out the door.

He ran down the steps. Down the street, He ran all the way to the nearest train and when he finally arrived at the airport, he pushed through the doors with no hesitation.

Yuuri ran. He ran from Russia. He ran from skating. He ran from Viktor.

.

.

Winter had always been long in Hasetsu. Long days followed by long nights of cold that seemed to take up more than a quarter of the year. Snow would fall heavy for days, and remain there for weeks. Yuuri had never noticed just how cold it was until now.

“Yuuri,” Mari calls her brother from the kitchen. She’s balancing a tray in her hands, a wooden platter with bowls of hot rice on it. Yuuri hurries to take them from her hands.

“Which room?”

“Room 2. A bunch of betas celebrating a promotion or something.”

“Drunk?” Yuuri exhales.

Mari nods. “Of course they are.”

Both laugh before Yuuri reluctantly takes the tray to deliver to the men.

This had been his life after Viktor. After returning from Russia he didn’t continue to skate, not even for fun. He wasn’t brave enough to do such a thing. He didn’t want to see, hear, or be around Viktor and he certainly didn’t want to be swarmed by reporters at the rink.  Even after six months of being apart everybody wanted to get the latest scoop on why Yuuri Katsuki had suddenly split from his coach and fiance.

Of course the media had their own take on the whole thing. Some magazines posted full features about how Yuuri must have cheated on him with another alpha. Some hockey player apparently. Others headlined their issues with details on how Yuuri left Viktor because the alpha forced him to have an abortion.

Yuuri tries not to read them. He knows they’re lies and he knows a reaction is exactly what the media wants.

He chose to ignore it all completely, turning down any and all interviews and refusing to be caught on camera. It was how he dealt with everything. How he kept from driving himself mad.

The omega delivers the food with a smile before returning to the kitchen to clean dishes. His mother and sister both have their eyes glued to the television when he enters. They don't seem to mind him starting the water.

“Yuuri…” Mari calls and he turns. She points to the television. “That Russian prick is on screen.”

“I don’t care.” He responds far too quickly and Mari gives him a sad smile.

“Sorry, I just thought...maybe you would want to see this.”

He doesn’t. “I—” Yuuri swallows the words before they leave his tongue. He should ignore it. Keep his eyes down and just wash the plate in his hand. He should keep ignoring the call to pay the alpha any mind. His life with Viktor has been over for a long time now. Their connection has been severed. He has no right to throw himself back into Viktor’s world.

He doesn’t listen to himself. Instead he looks. It’s just a glance but it’s enough. His skin goes ice cold.

Hiroko reads the headline out loud. “Viktor Nikiforov dating again.” She purses her lips before turning to her son.

Yuuri feels his chest tighten painfully, As though a snake had coiled around his heart and began constricting. He can’t breath. He can’t speak. He can’t move. He can’t even look away.

In the stillness, his mind goes white. How is he supposed to feel when the the person he thought he would spend his forever with, is spending it with someone else?

Yuuri swallows the lump in his throat as images of Viktor flicker across the screen. A video plays. In it, Viktor is talking with a young blonde man. The two are at the rink, though neither is skating. The alpha is smiling… Not one of those forced half smiles Viktor has flashed the camera since the breakup, but a real genuine heart shaped smile. The receiver of that smile puts a hand on the alpha’s shoulder, and the sight forces Yuuri to turn away.

That smile was once for him. All for him.

But Yuuri himself had taken that away from him. He has no right to feel devastated. No right to feel anything. Viktor is moving on. Viktor is happy. He deserves to be happy. To be with someone who can make him keep that beautifully bright smile. Someone who wouldn’t make him cry or worry. Yuuri can’t be that someone. Yuuri is not worth the trouble. Not worth the fight.

No matter how much it tears him apart, Yuuri can never be with Viktor.

“Turn this filth off.” Yuuri’s father snatches the remote from Mari and turns the television off with a click. “Yuuri, you don’t need to watch those kinds of things. It’s mostly lies anyway. Just chatter for the views and in an hour it will be old news”

Yuuri lowers his head, sinks in his stance. His father means for the words to help ease his mind, but they don’t.

Mari grabs him by the shoulder “Don’t do this to yourself.”

He snatches away from the touch. “I already did it. Don’t you guys understand?” He heaves, tears burning his eyes. “I ruined everything. I’m the reason it’s over. Of course he’s found some pretty other person. Why not? He’s finally free of having me as a burden.” Yuuri doesn’t wait for a response, he doesn’t want one. Instead he storms off, biting at his knuckle as he snatches his coat from the rack and leaves.

He finds himself at the bar. A place he had never frequented until he returned home from Russia. Even now he rarely goes there. Hasetsu is a small town. A town of everybody knows everything. The last thing he wants is rumours getting back to his family but today he makes an exception. He drowns himself in booze. Throwing back drinks almost as quickly as he did the night of the banquet. The one where he had drunkenly clung to Viktor and begged him to be his coach.

Although he knows how he gets when he drinks, he orders one after the other. He wants to forget, he wants to not be able to think. The last thing he needs or wants right now is a clear head. It’s stupid and childish but he doesn’t care.

It doesn't take long for his head to spin. After two hours of sitting alone on a bar stool he finally feels his mind slipping. His stomach is so full of drink it’s sickening and even still he orders another glass of beer that both smells and tastes bad.

“Yuuri?” Minako’s voice has him turning his head, throwing off his balance and making him about fall out of his chair if not for his old dance teacher catching him by the shoulders and sitting him up.

“What the hell, Yuuri? It’s hardly even eight and you get yourself wasted. You know better than this.”

“Leave me alone.” He pushes her away. “Please, I don’t want to hear it from you either.”

“Yuuri, this is my bar, and you’re my student and I can’t just leave you.” She snatches his drink from him. “And that’s enough. I’m taking you home.”

“No! I don’t want to go. I hate it there and I hate it here. All i ever hear, all I ever see is Viktor this and Viktor that. They won’t leave me alone about him. Always asking if I’m okay or telling me it’s not my fault.” The words won’t stop. Even he doesn’t think they make sense. “I hate myself so much.”

“Don’t say that!” She guides him off the stool, slings one arm over her shoulder, and begins walking toward the door. “Close up for me, will ya. I’m taking him home.”

Yuuri struggles at first. He wants to drink more. He wants to forget more. He can still see Viktor’s face. His smile. How he leaned into that other boy. Viktor is dating again. He’s dating and happy and smiling and it hurts like a knife through the heart.

Tears well in his eyes. No matter how much he drinks, that image, that feeling is never going to go away.

He cries softly as they walk. Minako doesn’t speak, only holds him. Instead of taking him home she takes him to his friend, Yuuko. He blacks out for a moment. Doesn’t hear Minako speak with his friends or notice when they take him from her and guide him into the house.

He does however wake up just as Yuuko covers him with a blanket.

“Hey…” Her voice is soft comforting. Even though the room is dark he can see her eyes twinkling with concern. “It isn’t like you to go drinking at such a time. If you just wanted a drink you should have come to me, silly.” She takes a moment to wipe the tears from his eyes.

The action only make him cry more.

“Maybe next time instead of drinking we can go for a day trip to tokyo. Or maybe go to Hokkaido? Wouldn’t that be fun?”

Yuuri doesn’t deserve her. He doesn’t deserve the kindness or concern when none of this would have happened if it weren’t for him. If he was better. If he was good enough. But he’s not. He’s difficult and unloveable and he wants to disappear.

“Don’t say that!” Yuuko brushes his bangs from his forehead. “Please don’t say that Yuuri.”

Oh...was he speaking aloud?

“Yuuri you are amazing and smart and I am so proud to call you my friend. You are worth it, do you hear me? You are worth knowing and worth loving. Even when you don’t believe it’s true.”

His chest aches and he can’t find his breath.“Viktor doesn’t love me anymore.” He finally says what he’s been wanting to say all along. Why everything hurts so suddenly after all these months. “He doesn’t love me anymore!” He cries harder and louder, sitting up and wrapping his arms around his friend. “I don’t want this! I don’t want to live in a world where he doesn’t love me!”

Yuuko says nothing. She lets him cry against her shoulder until he finally drifts off to sleep.

In the morning Yuuri wakes to a breakfast of eggs, bacon, and pancakes. He rolls on the couch, head pounding. He gives a quick check to his phone. Three missed calls, a bunch of texts from Mari, and a few IG notifications from Phichit. He responds to the texts with an ‘I’m okay.’ and a ‘Be there soon’.

“Morning!” Takeshi ruffles his hair as he passes the couch. “Breakfast is ready. Well it’s been ready. The triplets already left for school but we did make them leave you some food, okay.”

Yuuri stretches as he rises off the couch. He whole body hurts, but it’s his head that makes him feel so dizzy he loses his footing.

“Careful. We don’t make hospital trips this early.” His larger friends laughs as Yuuri finally makes it to the kitchen table. He passes the omega a plate and Yuuri piles it with a scoop of eggs which he salts vigorously. It isn’t as though he has to watch his calories or anything.

His eyes go to Yuuko, who is washing the dishes. He’s thankful to have such kind people in his life. Though that doesn’t change how shitty he feels on the inside. What he said last night wasn’t far from the truth. He really does hate himself. How he threw away everything he wanted because he was too insecure. Too insecure to believe a man like Viktor could be happy in a relationship with him.

He’s stupid.

And now Viktor has someone else.

“Do you want to take a shower or anything?” Yuuko suggests as she turns off the water and wipes her hands on a towel. “I have some clothes you can borrow and a fresh shower will probably help with the hangover.”

Yuuri smiles. “Then I’ll take that, I suppose.”

He finishes breakfast quickly, then showers and pulls on some of Yuuko’s clothes. They fit him snug but at least the pants are stretchy. After combing his hair and using a bit of mouthwash he returns downstairs to where his friends are huddled together on the couch watching television.

He smiles. “Sorry to inconvenience you guys like this. I’m really ashamed of what happened. I should have just stayed home but…” He rounds the couch. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be!” Yuuko beams, grabbing his wrist and pulling him onto the couch. “You’re our friend. We want to be there for you and support you. Even if that means cleaning puke off the bathroom floor.”

“Oh god.” Yuuri flushes, burying his face in his hands.

“No worries. I can’t count the number of times you’ve done the same for us.”

.

.

.

“Viktor you stupid idiot you flopped that jump like some kind of rookie!” Yakov’s voice echoes in the rink. “You hardly even got a second rotation in there. As bad as you’re doing today I might as well call it quits and— “

“Give me a break, goodness.” Viktor lifts himself from the ice. His knees ache and his elbow isn’t doing too well due to that last fall he took. The alpha glides over to the rink’s edge where yakov stands with a water bottle and towel. Viktor takes both, wiping the sweat from his brow and then tossing the towel over the short wall. “You’re killing me today, Yakov. My blisters have blisters.”

“And I’ll do a lot worse tomorrow if you come into practice with a head full of shit.” His coach snatches the water bottle from his hand before he even gets a sip of it. “You’re such an idiot. You’ve been an idiot before but this...I’m sick of this.”

Viktor swallows, then forces a smile. “I’m confused. Is this about my skating or is this about…” He already knows the answer.

“This is about Yuuri Katsuki and you know it.”

“Yakov, as i’ve stated to you and everyone else in the world. The relationship I have with Yuuri is over. We don’t even have contact anymore.”

“Don’t bullshit me. Every morning you come in with red eyes and sloppy clothing. You looks like trash.”

Viktor blinks. His resolution to keep it together faltering for only a split second. Then he speaks. “You think my clothes look bad?”

Yokov clenches his jaw and Viktor knows that’s the look he gets when he’s holding back saying something very very mean.

“Go home. Go play with your new boy and make jokes. When you’re ready to be an adult professional you can talk to me.”

Viktor chuckles. “You don’t have to worry about me. I appreciate your concern but I’ll be fine. Besides,” He stretches, skating to the rink entrance and stepping onto the carpet. He grabs his blade covers and clicks them on. “You would like Daniil if you would take a moment to talk to him.”

“I like Yuuri.” Yakov’s tone is harsh. His words heavy. Viktor knows he means more than what he says. Yakov doesn’t just like Yuuri. He loves Yuuri. He treasured Yuuri as not only a skater, but a person in general. Viktor knows that the older man will not easily come around to the prospect of Viktor dating another. No one would. Half a year ago Viktor was engaged. THE Viktor Nikiforov was engaged.

But Yakov would have to come around. They all had to. Yuuri had left Viktor. It was his choice and he chose to go. And though he’s countries away, Yuuri’s influence and presence weighs down on him like a ton of bricks.

“That boy is not good for you.”

“I’m an adult. Who I choose to date is my decision and I really can’t believe we are even having this conversation. You have never cared about who I do and don’t date.” A pause. “Okay so maybe you did but you certainly never got so upset with me over it.”

Yakov throws his hands into the air. Cursing under his breath before turning away from the silver haired man. “You are impossible and I’m not going to waste my breath if you want to be stubborn.” He doesn’t even turn to face him as he stomps away to the exit, ignoring Viktor’s presence and leaving the alpha alone.

Viktor doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand why everyone is so angry at him. After Yuuri left him he had been a mess. A absolute mess who couldn’t drag himself out of bed to even eat. Two weeks he spent at home, locked in his bedroom and refusing to take any messages or calls. He ignored the furious knocks at his door and the overwhelming number of calls he got from both Yakov and Chris. He ignored the angry messages from Yuuri’s sister and Phichit. He blocked it all out.

At that time. He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t do anything. He was a broken mess. His world was gone. His love and life snatched away so violently he hadn’t been able to stop it.

It wasn’t until Yakov somehow conned his way to a set of keys that he finally spoke out about what happened. He had broken down into tears in the older man’s arms. He left himself vulnerable to his coach, desperate for understanding and comfort. Yet the first thing Yakov had said to him was:  _ “What did  _ **_you_ ** _ do?” _

And for the first time, Viktor had felt something other than sadness. He felt anger. Anger at Yakov certainly but more than that he felt anger at Yuuri. And the same thing kept happening over and over again. With Chris, with Mila, with Yurio, with his own parents.

It doesn’t matter what happened, Viktor is the one who receives the blame. He’s the one everyone accused of ‘ruining’ everything. He’s the one who gets cursed out because of Yuuri’s choice. And it fucking sucks. It sucks horribly. How can everyone be so cruel to him when he was hurting too? And now that he’s got some semblance of life back, they want to harp on that as well?

Sure, maybe Daniil is no Yuuri. But he’s there for Viktor. And Viktor is happy...

.

.

.

“Babe, you need to stop with the instant noodles and eat a vegetable.” Viktor laughs as Daniil shoves another fork full of pasta in his mouth.

The blond grins. He watches as the alpha digs through the fridge and Viktor can feel his eyes on his back.

The alpha grabs a bottle of water then turns, shutting the fridge as he does so and leans against the door. “What’s on your mind?”

The other sets aside his food and settles in his seat, bringing his feet up into his chair. He looks elegant like that. Like some kind of living oil painting. Both mesmerizing as he is terrifying. A feisty combination that had attracted Viktor from the beginning. And his eyes, sharp as they are brown. Swirls of chocolate so sweet one could absolutely fall for him in a glance. “You’re doing that charity aren’t you? That one for the skating program or whatever?”

“Yup.” Viktor sips at his drink. “It’s not a competition or anything. More like a showcase to raise money for that new skating program.” After… what happened, Viktor no longer skated competitively. Instead he filled his schedule doing charity programs and skating at special events. He had also dedicated a significant amount of time to helping Yakov coach. Which he was bad at but the older alpha tolerated him anyway. Yakov even volunteered to assist him in training for the charity event.

“I figured, since you’ve been at the rink so often.”

“Yeah, I asked Yakov to help me out, though he’s more like a pain in my ass.”

The beta bites his lip. “Look, Viktor, I don’t mean to be super annoying but I’m worried about you. I looked at the schedule and—”

“I may be retired but I’m not old. I can still skate up a gold winning number.” He winks but Daniil isn’t amused.

“It’s not about your program. It’s about Japan. Tokyo in particular. The third showcase is going to be held there.”

Viktor already knew that. “Is that so? I hadn’t noticed.”

“Yeah...Are you really going to be okay? I can put aside work and come with you if you want.”

Viktor knows he would. “You don’t have to do that. I really will be okay.” He crosses the floor to his lover, leaning against the edge of the table while his hand cups the blond’s cheek. “Don’t worry about me. If anything I’m excited. Japan has some delicious food you know.”

“That’s what I’m worried about.”

Viktor stiffens.

“He’s going to show up. He’s going to try and meet you. He’d be stupid not to.”

“He won’t. He is...not going to risk the attention it would bring. He never did well in high stress situation and he’s not going to take that risk now.”

“But what if he does?” Daniil asks, leaning into Viktor’s touch.

“If he does then I won’t comment. I’ll focus on what I’m there to do. Which is skate. And I’ll send you lots and lots of messages to the point you will find me annoying,  _ dorogoi _ .” he places a kiss on the top of the other’s head. “I promise, no matter what happens I will call you and keep you updated, deal.”

Daniil is silent as he nods.

Viktor pats him then stands. “Good. Now we both need to get some sleep because tomorrow morning is going to come early.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed~ I couldn't even say if/when there will be another part ^^ I want to finish SIL or BOW before adding another fic to my schedule LOL  
> Feel free to find and add me on tumblr: iceprincess-yuri


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